


Desolate

by Kodzukuro



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, References to Depression, References to anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26492488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kodzukuro/pseuds/Kodzukuro
Summary: ❝Desolate❞  → (adj.): feeling or showing great unhappiness or loneliness.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Desolate

**Author's Note:**

> I was in my feels and kuroo is my comfort characters. this is extremely self-indulgent since it was brought on by a depressive episode.

The familiar tones slowly fill your ears, the wavy notes of the violin, accompanied by the subtle sound of the piano; tugging at your heartstrings.

It’s gotten dark outside, a testament to how long you’ve been laying on your bed without moving from your current position. Hardly lifting your head, you glance at the digital clock on your phone. Even as your brain register the number staring back at you, you don’t do anything but blink and place your head back down on the pillows. At this point, it’s well past the time where you usually get dinner, but you can’t be bothered to move, - and besides, you don’t even feel hungry.

It’s probably for the better.

The thought is fleeting, but somehow it manages to stick. You’ve been thinking like that a lot lately, but you simply don’t have the energy to worry about it. You don’t have the energy for anything these days.

You’re tired.

Not the kind of tired that comes from 4 hours of sleep and excessive use of caffeine. No. This kind of tired seeps into your bones. It sneaks up from behind and engulfs your entire being. It lays on your soul as a heavy blanket and in moments like this, you don’t bother shrugging it off. Instead you welcome the feeling like an old friend. It is to you, at this point. You let the feeling wrap around you, your beings becoming one.

You have enough energy to ponder why it happened today of all days. Why it is today your old friend came knocking on your door. You had had the energy to go out with some of friends, even going as far as showering once you got back to your apartment. It must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now hours later, your hair only damp from the shower and you haven’t moved from your spot on the bed, after you put on a pair of panties and your boyfriend’s jersey. It smells faintly like him and the familiar scent manages to comfort you ever so slightly.

You know he must be worried about you. He’s been texting you several times since you found your spot on the bed and you’ve either left him on read or delivered. You’re aware that it’s cruel of you not to reply, but you’re so tired and the blanket weighs heavy on your soul.

The music in your ears blur together to the point where you don’t recognize one song from the next. The blanket grows heavier and you feel numb. You’re not aware of how the time passes without you, cruelly waiting for no one. You don’t even hear your boyfriend lock himself into the apartment.

“Damn baby, laying in bed like that, wearing just my shirt and panties. Are you trying to seduce me?” The voice comes from so far away. Like a dream.

Tetsu.

You remember. Your boyfriend.

The world around you seems to shift back into focus and you become more aware of the iron grip around your heart.

You feel the bed dip under Tetsurou’s weight as he crawls close to you.

“Cat got your tongue?” he teases, and you shift your gaze to his face. His sultry smirk vanishes, as he takes in your appearance, the dark circles under your eyes and your dull skin, and the blank, empty look in your eyes. He feels his stomach drop as he lies down beside you, reaching out to brush some hair out of your face.

“One of those days, huh?” his voice is soft, tender even as he asks. He draws an arm around your waist and pulls you close to his chest.

Tetsurou’s scent fills your nose, encompassing your senses. Its stronger and so much clearer than the one that faintly lingers on his jersey. It smells like home. You take a deep break, breathing in his scent and presence, as tears prickle in your eyes for the first time that evening.

Almost as in slow motion you bring your hands up and curls your fingers into the front of his shirt, clinging to him and grounding yourself.

“Why didn’t you tell me” he asks no one and holds you tight to his chest. He leans in to press a kiss to your forehead, the affection making your heart skip a beat. He brings a hand up and tenderly wipes underneath your eyes.

Huh?

You hadn’t noticed that you had started crying. He holds you close as you cry in silence, the tears dampening the front of his shirt, but he doesn’t comment on it. He lets you bare your heart for him and in return he feels his own break. You’re so strong, so beautiful and so precious to him and he wish nothing more than to lessen your pain. He wants to chase the darkness away and show you how he sees you and wishes you could see yourself the way he sees you. 

Eventually your tears dry out. You’re left with sore and puffy eyes, but your heart feelings lighter. You feel Tetsurou gently lift your head, to meet his gaze.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong. It’s admirable and I know you will get up again, A woman like you doesn’t stay knocked down for long. It’ll be alright.” His voice is raw and laces with emotion and before you can answer him, his lips are on yours. Soft, yet insistent as he tries to convey all of his feelings for you with this one kiss.

“I love you,” he sums it up afterwards, gently caressing your cheek.

You nod in response and will yourself to speak, “I love you too Tetsu.”

Your voice comes out low and shaky, but he hears it. He hears it in your eyes, in your faint smile and in the way you’re still clinging so tightly to him.

He might not be able to take the pain nor is he fully able to comprehend what you’re going through. But it’s in these moments, where he holds you tight that the world seems a little less hopeless and a little less dreadful.

Tetsurou might not be able to take the pain away, but he can help carry the burden. He can crawl under the blanket together with you and suddenly it doesn’t weigh as heavy on your soul.


End file.
